Celebrating a positive doctor’s appointment with my almond milk latte outside of a Blenz in my old neighbourhood. So grateful for me health! 

It happened again today: I found myself talking to the universe and all I could say was, “Thank you.”

It’s happened many times before. Moments in my life when nothing else matters but the gratitude that is exploding from my heart and it’s so overwhelming that I don’t actually care who sees me and wonders ‘What the hell is that lady doing talking to herself?’ My happiest and most grateful moments have come when I met my husband, got good news from friends and family about their dreams coming true, got positive pregnancy tests, learned I was pregnant with triplets, gave birth to full-term babies, brought Clara and Evan home from the hospital, and got told by my oncologist that I no longer have cancer.

I walked into yet another doctor’s appointment this afternoon with no expectations. It’s been this way for quite a while for me. I really don’t worry much. The only time I lose sleep is if my kids are up or aren’t well. The rest of the time, my mind really is quiet. I’ve come to accept that there are a few things in my control and therefore worth my ‘thinking time’ and there are many more things outside of my control: Hodgkin’s Lymphoma being one of them.

Today was my three month checkup with my oncololgist. I got blood work done this past Saturday and hadn’t really thought about the appointment since. Just like the last few appointments with my doctor, I just showed up. It wasn’t until I was sitting in the room that it occurred to me that there were options as to what the blood work would reveal. Option A: all is normal and there’s no reason to go for further testing. Option B: blood work reveals there’s cause for concern and there’s more testing needed in order to see what may be going on. Been there, done that – a year ago, to be exact.

Thankfully (an understatement!) Option A prevailed today. Dr Sasha likes to give the news the second after he says hello. He looked at the computer and just said, “Perfect. Blood work looks great.” After that appointment, I climbed into the car, just like I did in September after a very similar appointment where he told me the PET scan was clear, and I  cried out, “Thank you, thank you, thank you…” I don’t actually really know who I was talking to but I do know that it was necessary and real and all that mattered. I cried and smiled and laughed with what I know to be true happiness: I get to go home and be with my family, my children, knowing I have my health today. God, I am so very grateful.

My hope for this new year is that I can say “Thank you” about every experience that comes my way, that I can see the value and be grateful for every and all this life has to offer me, that that explosion of gratitude comes more often in more situations.

Here’s to this next year being rich in health, love, and all that is good in this world. Happy 2016! We’re off to a great start…

Tracy